Monday, August 15, 2005


Usually when men yell things at women on the street it is something to the tune of "Yow" or "Hey Baby" or the ever-popular "Woo".

However today I came across a young man who wanted me to know exactly what he was cat-calling about in great detail.

"Hey!" he screamed, "Your ass looks really hot in that dress!!"

What else could I do but yell "thank you" back?



Hey, did you know McDonald's is HEALTHY now?

It's true, because they have a FRUIT AND WALNUT SALAD. With YOGURT. And all those things are HEALTHY.

And damned if they haven't plastered cutesy little artfully arranged pictures of their damned apple slices and sugar-coated walnuts all over EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE IN THE CITY OF CHICAGO, because THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THEY CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING ARTERIES.

Go ahead and suck down some fries and a Big Mac while you're at it, because you're going to be eating fruit, and that's totally healthy.

If I see one more picture of that "salad" I may just shove a Granny Smith right up Ronald McDonald's wazoo.


Miller would like you to know that she is not in any way affiliated with Miller Lite or Miller Brewing Company, although she does enjoy their fine product and would be more than happy to accept free samples in lieu of payment for her endorsement.

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