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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

HEADS WILL ROLL 

I am no longer surprised by the daily beheading when I turn on the computer and check out my internet news page.

It's sad to me that this is going to be yet another milestone of the current generation of school children: drug-sniffing dogs, bomb threats, metal detectors in schools, school shootings, crack cocaine on the playgrounds, and now daily beheadings for them to read about on the internet.

People wonder why today's youth are so fucking rotten, but to me this isn't much of a mystery. When I was eleven I think my biggest worry was whether people would laugh at my glasses or whether I'd get a good grade on my science project.

I doubt today's kids sleep as well as I used to.

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Friday, June 18, 2004

WEEEEEEKEND. 

The weekend cannot arrive fast enough. I would like extra weekend with my summer please, plus a side of handsome man and a few extra packets of sunshine. If you don't give me a receipt then my summer should be free and I should get to go to all the shows I want and sit in the front row without paying.


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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

THE SECRET LIFE OF MILLER 

Where have I been? I have been doing the usual which is having tea with the queen (any old queen will do) and jet-setting around Europe and dancing on tables with young hotel heiresses. I have very much enjoyed tossing my hair back in a fetching fashion, drinking expensive martinis, and laughing like a very rich and very fake person. Hah-hah-hah-hah! Try it - you will enjoy it, too.

Or I may have been working like a dog and drinking a whole lot of shitty coffee while inwardly wishing that my boss would get testicular cancer and spontaneously combust at the same time.

I think it's much more fun if you guess.

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Miller would like you to know that she is not in any way affiliated with Miller Lite or Miller Brewing Company, although she does enjoy their fine product and would be more than happy to accept free samples in lieu of payment for her endorsement.

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